Friday Funnies: Where the Bed is an Arena and Snoring is a Battle Cry?

Welcome, fellow sleep-deprived warriors, an edition of Friday Funnies! This week, we're diving into the nocturnal world of snoozing, snoring, and the terrifying, silent pauses in between. We've compiled 10 of the best sleep humor jokes—the kind of jokes so funny they might just wake you up. So grab your pillows, put on your most comfortable pajamas, and prepare for some serious...

Friday funnies

1. My doctor said I have a severe case of sleep apnea. He told me my brain keeps forgetting to breathe. I said, “That’s impossible, my brain has amnesia about everything else. Why would it suddenly remember to forget something important?”

2. I’ve been practicing mindful sleep, but it’s hard when my wife says my snoring sounds like a wooly mammoth trying to start a lawnmower.

3. My friend’s new CPAP machine makes him feel like Darth Vader. I told him that's a good thing. At least his sleep struggles have a cool soundtrack.

4. I used to be a chronic insomniac. Now I’m a sleep apnea warrior, which is basically the same thing but with more drama.

5. My wife told me my snoring is so loud it's a security system. I asked her what she meant. She said, "No burglar would ever risk going into a house where someone is being murdered by a chainsaw."

6. I told my sleep specialist that my wife is so concerned about my sleep apnea, she recorded me and now uses the audio as her alarm clock. It’s the ultimate better sleep motivation, apparently.

7. My best sleep occurs when my husband falls asleep first. That's when I get to do a quick pillow adjustment so his snoring is aimed away from my ears.

8. They say laughter is the best sleep aid. I told my wife that, but she just said my snoring makes her cry, not laugh.

9. I tried a new snoring solution last night. I went to the guest room. It worked perfectly.

10. I read that sleep apnea affects your memory. That’s probably why I can’t remember what I was doing right before I was woken up by a spouse-induced elbow jab.

References

• National Sleep Foundation. (2025). Sleep Hygiene and the Importance of a Good Night’s Rest.

• Mayo Clinic. (2025). Sleep Apnea: What It Is and How to Treat It.

• Cleveland Clinic. (2025). The Effects of Laughter and Humor on Overall Health.